Culture Reviews

The Andy Bernard and Homer Simpsons of Yelp: My Review of Reviews

I should start by saying I spend a lot of time on Yelp in Lubbock. It’s obviously a valuable tool in my search to eat. But just like your coworker who breathes noisily from their congested nostrils while in deep concentration, we all have flaws. Thus, so do our tools. Here’s what’s wrong with Yelp. It’s the Yelpers mostly.

Primarily, Yelp in Lubbock is great for finding select dishes, seeing restaurant, food, and menu photos, along with hours, and location information. It can get shaky after that. There are actually more places missing from Yelp than you might expect. And how does the industry feel about it? Many chefs and restaurants hate Yelp (they hate bloggers, too). I get it, because for every glowing review there are multiple bad ones. The barrier to entry when it comes to having an ability to influence sales is so low. In the toughest industry to make it in, anyone with a smartphone can download the Yelp app and dismantle so much of a business’ hard work, all on a public stage. Many times it will be done with poor grammar, busted syntax, and all the written expression abilities of a fourth grader who got held back a few times. And you know as well as I do, that kid only eats chicken nuggets.

I’m not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Maybe I could be a food critic. “These muffins taste bad.” Or an art critic, “That painting is bad.”

Andy Bernard – The Office

Props To The Good Yelpers Around Lubbock

Thank God for the Yelpers doing it right: maybe they’ve eaten somewhere multiple times before reviewing, they’ve tried multiple items, they have an actual perspective and an ability to articulate what makes something good or bad-or even what they did or didn’t like about the food or experience. If they’re really serious they have some knowledge and interest on food or the scene. Good Yelp reviews bring in broader contexts so we appreciate the experience more. Arriving at that perspective is deliberate. Therefore it is a saint and a martyr who does the work to have an opinion, then casts their “stars review” alongside the Homer Simpsons and Andy Bernards on a forum like Yelp.

Lubbock’s Most Unhelpful Yelp Critics And Food Photos

Thank goodness for good Yelpers in Lubbock. If it weren’t for you, we’d only have the reviews of these folks and if their reviews are anything like these photos they submitted with their reviews… I’m sure they’re both riveting and relevant. I’ve been collecting these for a while now and I’m happy to finally share them.

Some Selfies… With No Food In Sight.

Some Stock Graphics and Some Instructions to Other Yelpers about How to Wash Dishes.

Finally some food relevant things about food.

And finally, saving the best for last.

This has since been removed from the place it was posted… and it seems to have not hurt the popularity of restaurant in question.

**If anyone knows David G. can you please have him reach out to me. I need to get to the bottom of the circumstances of this image.

1 comment on “The Andy Bernard and Homer Simpsons of Yelp: My Review of Reviews

  1. The man fondling the french fry makes me incredibly uncomfortable.


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