I should start by saying I spend a lot of time on Yelp in Lubbock. It’s obviously a valuable tool in my search to eat. But just like your coworker who breathes noisily from their congested nostrils while in deep concentration, we all have flaws. Thus, so do our tools. Here’s what’s wrong with Yelp. It’s the Yelpers mostly.
Primarily, Yelp in Lubbock is great for finding select dishes, seeing restaurant, food, and menu photos, along with hours, and location information. It can get shaky after that. There are actually more places missing from Yelp than you might expect. And how does the industry feel about it? Many chefs and restaurants hate Yelp (they hate bloggers, too). I get it, because for every glowing review there are multiple bad ones. The barrier to entry when it comes to having an ability to influence sales is so low. In the toughest industry to make it in, anyone with a smartphone can download the Yelp app and dismantle so much of a business’ hard work, all on a public stage. Many times it will be done with poor grammar, busted syntax, and all the written expression abilities of a fourth grader who got held back a few times. And you know as well as I do, that kid only eats chicken nuggets.
I’m not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Maybe I could be a food critic. “These muffins taste bad.” Or an art critic, “That painting is bad.”
Andy Bernard – The Office
Props To The Good Yelpers Around Lubbock
Thank God for the Yelpers doing it right: maybe they’ve eaten somewhere multiple times before reviewing, they’ve tried multiple items, they have an actual perspective and an ability to articulate what makes something good or bad-or even what they did or didn’t like about the food or experience. If they’re really serious they have some knowledge and interest on food or the scene. Good Yelp reviews bring in broader contexts so we appreciate the experience more. Arriving at that perspective is deliberate. Therefore it is a saint and a martyr who does the work to have an opinion, then casts their “stars review” alongside the Homer Simpsons and Andy Bernards on a forum like Yelp.
Lubbock’s Most Unhelpful Yelp Critics And Food Photos
Thank goodness for good Yelpers in Lubbock. If it weren’t for you, we’d only have the reviews of these folks and if their reviews are anything like these photos they submitted with their reviews… I’m sure they’re both riveting and relevant. I’ve been collecting these for a while now and I’m happy to finally share them.
Some Selfies… With No Food In Sight.
Adrian, have you and Chris met? 
Chris, even if your review said, “Left happy and full,” this is still unacceptable. 
Mike’s head would explode at Buc-ees. 
Micheal, your Facebook friends missed this post… Because you accidentally put it on Yelp, under Panda Express.
Some Stock Graphics and Some Instructions to Other Yelpers about How to Wash Dishes.
… 
Good reminder from Curtis, a Motivational Yelper. 
Mike rages.
Finally some food relevant things about food.
Timestamp says 7 years ago. Photo quality says 2006 Ugly Betty era smartphone. 
Definitely a shot glass with several miniaturized ice cubes to further the effect. 
I feel like this is illegal. 
I’d say there are 458 hubcaps there, Carla. Final answer. 
Destroyed it Eli. Your archaic paper filing habit and that saucy little number there. 
This definitely answers my question about what they serve this in. 
Jackpot, Gail. Call it a day because it won’t get any better.
And finally, saving the best for last.
This has since been removed from the place it was posted… and it seems to have not hurt the popularity of restaurant in question.
Well done, David G. You my friend are performing the service we all need.
**If anyone knows David G. can you please have him reach out to me. I need to get to the bottom of the circumstances of this image.
i came here for the food... 
The man fondling the french fry makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
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